The world around me

The world I come from explains every detail about me. It clarifies why I always safe and comfortable in my surroundings. My world exudes my character and my priorities over what I want in the moment. To make it clear my world consists of everything I love, such as family traditions, friends fun Fridays, volleyball workouts or practices, and reading my mystical novels under the moon. My life and sole purpose depends on school. Where I want my next world to be is why this world works so hard; to take all the AP classes, meet speedy deadlines, hundred of hours of community service, and my dedication to clubs and outside activities. My life outside of school has been beyond limited. I am growing up fast; in ways I never dreamed of. My two AP teachers have pushed me to the point of gray hairs forming, and I love been grateful for every second. My world has shaped my character and molded itself to my liking so I am proud of my accomplishments.

            In the everyday life I always am responsible to being an important role model in my 9 year olds brothers life. He is what my world revolves around. I refuse to go any farther than 100 miles away from for college and even that it too much. I take care of him everyday after school until my parents get off of work. Taking care of another human being other than myself has really shown me what it means to be responsible, and productive. There is no time for television, video games, or even unnecessary drama. Our routine is first homework, snack, practice, shower, eat, get ready for tomorrow, and sleep. Having this structure not only benefits him because he has stability, but also gives me confidence that I can handle the mishaps of life. He has taught me to have strength in my morals, cry when I am feeling overwhelmed rather than hold it in, and be motivated to work hard 365 days of the year.

            My outlet from life is volleyball. Volleyball lets me escape from my head and return my natural instincts. My habitat relies on volleyball to bring balance to my world. Without volleyball I would have gone crazy from not feeling like I had a purpose or meaning. The importance of my role in volleyball gives me self-confidence without the arrogant cockiness. I feel blessed to have the parents who were willing to pay for me to continue volleyball all through high school. Volleyball has kept me motivated and worked hard all through my high school career. Also given me lessons on what it means to be a team player and strive to work together on a common goal.

            April 20^th 2012, near end of my sophomore year was by far the hardest day I have ever come to experience. It was the day my parents told that they were getting separated. This event has brought a new meaning to my life and showed me how I respond to bad news. I stay calm while wanting to say something but I never come up with the right words so I leave it be; and just listen. For hours I listened to my parents argue about the way that they told me was not appropriate, though I wasn’t interested; it was already done. I kept thinking about my little brother and how I wish I could protect him from all of this heart ache. This day marks when I turned from a careless teenager to a work hard mentality. I will never forget the event that had to occur for this transformation to begin that has infinitely shaped my current life.

            Attending Foothill Technology High School saved me from becoming a student who didn’t care to a scholar that tried a hundred and ten percent. The community and daily life has given me the opportunity to mold my life to the future I want. My world is my garden and lately I have been planting the biggest seeds.  

History in Literature

Over the course of time we have seen revolutions have fail time and time again. The people strive to make their society have a better status, so that everyone unites in happiness. Most often it’s the person who wants to help their state that become the cause of these revolutionary patterns. Are revolutions making people power hungry or were they just waiting for their moment to shine and take control, ruining Marxist idea for utopia through communism? Influence over people can have quite an effect on most leaders. They enjoy being needed by the population that they don’t have realization they’re killing it. Commonly there is a philosopher present, for example Locke and Marx. Both men strived to send a message of equality and unity. Marx pushed people for communism, and most took a liking to at first. Attracted to this perfect world Marx had in mind, most people didn’t have a clue how to create such a magnificent situation, let alone make it perfect. The Chinese and Russian revolution had the same circumstances in government. Both counties determined that their leaders were no longer fit to be their dictator. In hope that the society would become a utopia the government quickly executed both dictators.  The working class and peasants were usually the ones to be awfully resentful of this action. In time they came to support the ideas of an equal place, leaving the grief of their fallen hero behind. A great number of them had no idea that they were supporting all kind of propagandas. Normally peasants were told what the new laws and expectations were because of illiteracy. Just like in Animal Farm when Clover thought the rules slowly kept altering with new unfair changes to the wall, of the seven commandments. But she had no proof to herself that they actually were changing. Ignorance was used as a great weapon for the up rising tyrant, as the lower class blindly walked through the darkness of the revolutionary cycle.

            Injecting fear into the souls of many the Chinese and Russian population, all feared any sort of rebellion, not wanting to suffer anymore. Each person kept quiet speaking of government negatively, in fear of being accused of a false action or an untrustworthy citizen. When the country needed to show their spirit, they would to keep suspicion away.

            Cycling back almost completely around to the 8^th phase, another dictator, is what happened in Animal Farm the pigs became the new rulers of the farm. Creating an opposite image from what they had originally had hoped for. Now all animals weren’t equal, and the pigs now all began to act more like the sinful humans. Killing animals or sentencing them to death was symbolism of what Stalin did. Murdering more than 8 million in fear but being executed himself.

Lord of the Flies: Human Nature

Human’s nature is to sin and corrupt our lives on a daily basis. Golding’s main point of Lord of the Flies is our human nature to is to be destructive with our own land, company, and resources. In this story a group of boys crash land on an abandoned island. Their goal is to get rescued before they kill each other. Golding’s theme is our human nature makes us destructive, insensitive, and violent. 

            Destruction is something that happens when humans try to prove themselves in harmful ways. An example of destruction is when Piggy dies and the conch breaks, when Jack is trying to prove he has the power. “The rock struck Piggy a glancing blow to the chin and knee; the conch exploded into a thousand white fragments and ceased to exist.”(Golding 181). Another action of destruction is when Jack sets the island on fire to get Ralph out of the thicket (197). Jack is trying to prove that he is going to kill Ralph. Jack does not realize that he is killing his resources and land. Also all the boys do this “dance” and tear Simon to pieces using their nails and teeth. This is another example of destruction within people. Destruction does not always happen on purpose, but it does happen mostly through the causes of human nature.

TO ROMEO FROM JULIET

Dear My Lord Romeo,

            I know that we love each other more than any other couple in the world. It doesn’t matter how young we are I know our love is limitless. You mean more to me than there are stars in the sky. Just like the stars, you shine so bright in my heart. From the night we met my intentions were always for us to be married and be inseparable. The afternoon we were married gave me such a great amount of happiness. I’m so worried about what my parents will do, once they find out you and I are wed. But no one can match our love, not one person feels one ounce of the love I feel for you. I have anger with my parents for the rivalry they have with yours. They kept me away from my true love for far too long. You take care of me by giving me endless love, and I will do for you evermore. My adoration for you is more that can be imagined. I have everlasting love for you my Romeo. Only in my dreams I thought of someone as handsome as you. In my dreams, I dreamed of someone to kiss me the way you do. I speak for all the ladies in the world when I say you are strikingly good looking. I knew the first time I saw you I had met my knight and shining armor. I was your angel from heaven. We saved each other from a life full of dull and tedious mornings. You protected me from morbid thoughts and dreary nights. Now I have realized how complete you make my life. If you must leave me, I want you to know how much a cherished our times together. I long for the day when you come for me, and I ride away with you into the sunset.

            Forever yours,

                        Juliet Montague

Enchantment

I must say a word about enchantment. It is depressions only true opponent. Only enchantment can beat depression. Its joyous and wonderful intentions, how well I know. It has no desire to make you angry or bitter, and pleases you so dearly. It goes to your sweetest spot and finds a way to dazzle you in so many ways. It begins with a spark in your eye at something magnificent always. One moment you are feeling restless or gloomy then suddenly something enchanting crosses your mind that makes you feel so instantly happy. Disappointment meets charm and disappointment tries to push it out, but fails miserably. Disappointment came unprepared to the battle against charm. Charm does away with little trouble from disappointment. You become excited.  Delight comes to battle for you. You are on cloud nine with satisfaction. Delight is ready to take on any negativity that comes your way and it’s coming fully loaded. But, to your amazement despite wonderful events and pleased with fortunate greeting from delight, it has laid low. You feel yourself over come with something that no longer feels like enchantment, and your fighting to get the feeling back. Your energized self becomes alive. You love that fact that bliss is surging through you veins. You admire the smile from yourself that is cheek to cheek on your face. Your enticing view on the world makes you feel like you’re on top of it. Your heart starts to beat like a drum with enchantment of all your surroundings. Every part of you wants to fly into the air and be more and more amazed by the enchanting thing you hear, smell, watch and touch around you. Its is absolutely amazing to experience.

A Virtuoso Ignored

A Virtuoso Ignored

            Do we have time for the things we love anymore? Do we try to make time for the moments that truly bring us bliss? To be honest lives will get complicated if you try to make time for things that you really don’t have time for. Life will get rougher with you. In reward you will get a minute of pure happiness, and forget all your worries. Most people do not make time for the activities they enjoy. Our community needs to make time to come together and bring warmth and heart to daily actives, but we do not. How can you make time for the memories you want to make if you are working, going to school, have homework, play sports, basically trying to make a life for yourself? It is sad, but our society literally does not have the time to stop and smell the roses or listen to the musician in the train station. That is the truth, but there are times when the people of our modern day society have to stop and take a breath and push us to make a little time for the people and a fun aspect of life we care about. Because if we fail to make the most of our time and put ourselves through hell just to be successful then we will never truly be happy. We cannot be the workers in the train station when Joshua Bell is playing right in front of us and not stop to listen the beautiful melody of his violin. “But when the rush-hour commuters had a chance to hear Bell for free, they didn’t even stop to listen” (The Last Word). 

life poem

My life is made up of non-stop questions

My mom has one large obsession

This makes me wonder why?

But that leaves me in a state of depression

The current events swirl in my mind during its digestion

Of which I carry no expression

My dad has an important legal profession

Which means he’s gone a lot

That stamps quite an impression

I have to be perfect

 I am the glue

But I’m not and that’s the oppression

I keep asking the same question

“Why?”

I have just one more confession

It’s my job to take care of brother

Even though I never make any progression

I want to know

I want to know the answer to every doubt

Why can’t fairy tales be the true vision?

Cheating for the grade you want

 Cheating is a way out. Its an escape to feel free to carry on with whatever you were doing before you got rudely interrupted with a test, homework, work out, relationship etc. The purpose of putting in the work is so you can get better right? That’s the way it should be anyways. I really didn’t want to answer this prompt because I’m afraid of what you (Mr. Geib and Mrs. Kindred) will think of me. I really respect both of you as teachers and look up to you as well, but I do cheat. Not in the big ways like on final exams or important tests, but in the ways that still make me feel ashamed and feeling awful; cheating is cheating no matter how big or small. Cheating seems so disrespectful to the ones you care about but I do it anyways. I’m telling you the truth because hopefully writing this to a public audience will make me so embarrassed that I will never do it again or find out why I do. My reasons are so stupid and unwise it’s almost laughable. 
1) I think I am stupid and I try to match up with the other geniuses at school.
2) I’m so unbelievably tired of the never-ending stack of homework I get.
3) I’m embarrassed of my lack of intelligence so I try to sound smarter than I actually am.
4) I’m so stressed out and can barely function to put my pants on right.
5) I can’t think for myself sometimes, so I copy what another thinks/says/does.
Either way no matter what my excuses are I will NOT deny that cheating is wrong. It’s true when people say, “ If you cheat you are really cheating yourself.” But what can I do? I need a bright future. I can’t have a C in a class because I am not willing to cheat. It’s not our integrity that the colleges look at or how good of a person we are; it’s our grade! Again I’m not trying to deny how wrong and corrupt cheating is but if it gets me to where I need to go then so be it. I’m so scared of not being good enough. I’m even more scared of not being able to provide for myself. Cheating allows me to compensate and give myself a pinch of confidence that I might actually be going somewhere. I try to pick out what I think it right and wrong, I’m sorry to say that cheating is something that I have struggled with at times. As a counteract I can say this lesson has influenced me for the better and encouraged me to try to keep my integrity intact even if I look stupid in the process.

Wrong vs. Right

I believe in right and wrong choices; I just don't think anything you do is right and wrong.

Just a while ago I was staring at the waves on a walk that I usually take when I need to clear my mind. I had a moment where I just observed how the waves go back and worth and wondered what they would say to answer this prompt. Well, I think the waves would try to explain that peoples choices are as inevitable as the waves constant movements. People will make right wrong choices but it won't matter in the end; gravity will do what it pleases and possibly make a wrong choice into something beautiful or a right choice into something horrid. Its all up to the universe. Nothing you can do is right or wrong, it just is. Whether or not you want to live it through with a clean conscience is up to you. But we will go wherever we were meant to so we need to stop acting like we have any control over the matter; stop telling ourselves we are not good enough because we made the bad choice, and everything we do isn't right. Problems often feel as if the world is crashing down on them or all their hopes and dreams are on a sinking ship and they are about to drown. Some people ask "How many times till I get it right?"

Then there are the other versions or right and wrong which is like cheating on a test or killing someone. I think you just have to ask, "Will I regret this later?" "Am I going to like the consequences?" If not then don't do it. People get hurt in the process of even the smallest crimes and people are just going to have to live with that guilt. Evil versus good has been the internal war for humans since the days of Adam and Eve. Its always going to be there. We cannot get rid of it because its like a cancer and still no one has found the cure. It's the modern peoples choice how far into the ditch of immorality they want to fall. There are no circumstances that make it right unless it's an accident or defense. Right or wrong, choices are always going to be risks and sadly it always comes down to who can bluff the best; but remember the bluffer will always have no friends in the end.

Attraction ;)

Attracting a women entails providing for her, strong physical genes, and chemistry. To attract a man you need all physical features such as nice hips, butt, and boobs. Its true that these factors are what it takes for people to fall in love or reproduce. The science is almost too straight foreword for me and I still like to believe that there is a little more than chemicals in our body reacting to someones personal appearance, smell or social status. I want to believe that people are meant for each other la la la. But looking deeper into the science, it makes complete sense and I hate it. I've been buying this idea that romantic and handsome men sweep the prettiest girls in into their arms and carry them off into the sunset. The research all points to basically we are just horny and want to reproduce with the best possible we can get so our kids will have the best chance to "survive". 
Today some girls in our class were saying that they would have gone to prom with Lucas. They said he's a sweetie and smart. But do you really want that "sweetie" kissing you? Or even worse, taking your clothes off? Being the father of your kids? Because whether he's a nerd or not thats what they are all eventually hoping for. No, you want a tall, dark, and handsome man looking down into your eyes telling you how beautiful you are. I think what the girls really meant in our class today was that Lucas would be a great friend and I would go with him so I don't look too superficial. But no senior or junior is going to prom with a freshman and enjoy it. It's just not done. 
I do happen to think that Lucas would get loads of girls after he's invented Microsoft 2000 or sent someone up to the moon. Maybe at their high school reunion when he's grown a few inches and filled out a little she will finally see what she missed out on all these years. What would be even better is if he brought a girl with him to the reunion, but then causally got the girl he really wanted. 
I find that sports get girls turned on too. Watching men preform at their best is attractive, you get to see their strength and passion really come out. Its like how a male peacock spreads out his huge display of feathers when trying to find a mate. Same with men, when women see them do something athletically impressive they become drawn in and most unattractive boy can suddenly seem extremely attractive. 
I read a story about the power a beautiful women has when men think they might get a chance with her. It started with the women in a sexy red dress saying she got locked out of her apartment and knocked on the man's door and asked if she could wait in his apartment until the locksmith got there. Obviously he said of course and they started up a conversation about wine. She would ask him if he liked expensive wines, obviously again he said "Oh yes, of course. I only buy the best." Then she told him that she sells wine for a living and asks him if he would like to purchase some. He is stuck between a rock and a hard place because now he can't back out or else he'll lose the girl. So they settle with numbers and he's now $400 poorer. The women was pulling the strings and he was her puppet. Any chance to be with her was a chance worth taking, but why? Other than her physical appearance I didn't hear anything too special, I actually thought it was somewhat rude since he was kindly letting her stay in his apartment. He saw the perfect opportunity to be with a women that was physically attractive. He was drawn to that and nothing else. Poor guy. The beautiful people are living a lot more comfortably than the ugly.
Since the beginning to now reproduction has always worked the same. Nothing has changed, and nothing probably ever will. We continue to be drawn to the same things in the opposite sex, and we obtain chemicals that make us want to procreate with them. As life goes on we repeat our same routine as the past generations did and we keep our race going.

One can never truly understand unless that one has experienced. I cannot possibly fathom the idea of marrying a complete stranger. I also cannot fathom the idea of getting married at all (as of right now). Marriage is such an important tradition to various cultures, societies, and communities. I have never experienced marriage therefore I don’t think my opinion is creditable on such a significant subject that so many people value and cherish with their whole hearts (I will state my current stand I just want to warn my peers we have little knowledge on this matter).
Arranged marriage is just as intimate as a modern American “passionate” marriage, which is mostly based off attraction. In fact because of their culture, in some cases it will last longer and force people to stay and try to work it out rather than getting out and giving up so quickly. Love comes to them just as much as it does to us.
Psychology professor Pamela Regan and her co-authors looked at the marriages of 58 Indian-Americans living in the U.S. About half the participants (28) said their marriages had been arranged, either by relatives or professional matchmakers. The remaining 30 described their marriages as love-based. When researchers had the participants complete questionnaires on love, relationship satisfaction and commitment, they found something rather remarkable.
"We found absolutely no differences whatsoever, and we're not really sure why," says Regan, whose results were published in Psychological Reports.
Often I think we judge or think “Oh, poor girl. She didn’t even have a choice who she got to marry.” What if that isn’t the case? Yes, this girl may just have been set up and fell madly in love in the process. “Love and you will be loved, and you be able to do all that you could not do unloved.” Everyone knows love. Everyone learns to love. Everyone is living once they’ve felt love. Arranged or not love has no time, and it gets you when you least expect it. It has depth to core of the earth and rises above heaven. It makes millions every day feel as if they are on cloud nine with no train off.
Want to know what arranged and not marriages have in common? Love is and always will be complicated. It comes in many different shapes and sizes; plus it never fails to improve your life’s happiness but often it they cause of stress, pain, depression, and anger if abused or taken advantage of. Nothing is perfect nor will it ever be, its time for us to be open to all scenarios. Including people who don’t want to go out and find love with the chance of being hurt. Rather just skip all the bullshit and get married to a nice, economically acceptable, smart man/women (that your parents actually like!) and just learn to love them.
Dear my heart, I wish I can be as strong as you. No matter how many times you've been broken, you still beat and love.
-Unknown

The heart is so tough and it endures loads of weight that bears on your soul. Heart has always been the one I choose. I hope it always will be. I am a person who wants to be loved everyday and know how much he cares. I need to him to comfort and passion along with silly smiles everyday. My heart will always be the thing I’m good at. My caring nature is my best quality and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If people care then let them care. Love is too rare to take that away from them and force them to live a day without it.

Platonic Love?

The example given of when Harry confronts Sally on how men and women cannot be friends are undeniably true. Just to prove that point if you didn't know already Harry and Sally do have sex. Men and women are just too different and have completely different mind sets to both have a mutual understanding of just friends. Girls get emotionally involved and men get horny. The effort that it would take to be friends with someone and never think what they were like in bed would be incredibly draining. We cannot deny that most men are stupid and girls are mean. When a relationship builds girls will think friend and guys will think fuck. Then over a period of time they may switch places, but rarely. Sex will always be a hidden factor unless you have already committed your heart else where.
Whether or not men and women can truly be friends is going about it all the wrong way. Do you see the word friend in "boyfriend"? I do. The definition of friends is mutual affection towards one another. Isn't this also the definition of a relationship between a boy and girl? Yes. I do believe that after an emotional attachment and even the slightest physical attraction you have definitely thought of a boy or girl in a sexual context whether you wanted to or not. Thinking about someone and acting out on it are two totally different things. Also if they have really tried to be friends and once they acquired that comfortability and trust with them, why not see if it might work?
Friendship is a tricky and complicated to go about when in it with the opposite sex, but as mentally enhanced humans I assume they do not go around having sex with all their single friends, at least I hope most of us have some morals. Yet how quickly does I a teenage boy hope for sex? I think pretty fast. Or how often does a boy come to the conclusion that sex with almost anyone would be acceptable? Maybe after that they could be friends so things aren't as awkward. Personally I have thought about all my guy friends in a sexual way even if haven't meant to, it just sort of happened. After a month or two it goes away and continue on our normal path of friendship and I never feel that way again (or at least its never happened twice for me, but I'm pretty young; I may need to give myself more time to relapse).
There are a few exceptions to my theory.
Marriage. (Love can be strong and lets face it married people do have friends.)
Gays and Lesbians
If they have been friends since toddlerhood

Men and women have proven that being friends is very enjoyable though because they get all their need and want for affection out of the way and they proceed to use that man or women as a buffer. (A person who fills the other with love and affection so the other can be free from the need for attention from the opposite sex). This also rarely works out because the girl sons realizes that she is the star to his eye and gives into longing for more than "just being friends" Friendship just cannot work without at least one sexual demeanor coming into the relationship, but men and women's friendship do last many years if they can get past all the sexual frustration.

Genetics or Free will?

Genetics or free will?
Free will acts as a hope deep in our hearts that conquers science. One cannot simply understand how much free will influences your life. Free will is having the ability to say yes or no. It's having the option to choose what you believe (as I am doing right now). I honestly didn't believe in free will until I just sat at my screen staring blankly at it trying to decide what I believe. But then it hit me, if I am having such a struggle trying to decide which path to take on this blog give me free will? I know that sounds pretty simple but it isn't always that simple and its us who make it seem harder than it actually is? Free will allows us to open our souls and think deeper than we are willing to go. The idea that we are controlled by genetics would make the human race completely based off of science as well. I want to believe that when I choose to happy it's not just because my parents are happy. I am happy because thats how I feel in that moment and it has nothing to do with their genes running through me.

My aunt and I are the same person. She has the same figure, same eyes, and face as me. Not only that but we also having the same thinking process. Both our parents got separated around the same age, we are both the older sibling etc. I used to want to be her too. She is beautiful, smart, and funny. Literally everything I wish I was. But then one day when I was 11 I went to a sports bar with her. I will spare you the gory details but that was the day my mom told that she had a drinking problem. I never knew but she had it ever since college. With my free will I promised myself I would never get that out of hand when it came to drinking.

Everyone knows that my mom and dad had me at a very young age and so has the rest of my family (if not now you do; 17 to be exact). Now I hope that free will is true because I don't want anything to do with babies until I'm at least 30. Since I am 17 right now shouldn't I be off finding my baby daddy? NO! I'm a put together young lady that doesn't want that. I have goals and dreams to lead a life that encourages me to find myself, take risks, and be solo. These are dreams and ideas that my family never had. My free will has guided me towards a life of smart choices and being sane for a little while longer.

“I wear the chain I forged in life....I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”
-Charles Dickens
I have worked really hard for many things in my life and I think everyone else has to. To say that they did it because their genetics inspired them to seek out such success is almost an insult. The people striving for better than their parents deserve that chance to be great, the chance to be who they were meant to be; not just following in their families foot steps.

Photography. Good or bad?

 Photography has become a outlet for so many 1st world countries to advertise, sell, show off what the next best thing is. Always urging people to want more and never stop. Yes, in those cases we can think pessimistically and believe we are being brain washed and society is doing a wrong by us. We can also take into account that we love pictures, its hard not to. Capturing a moment is like catching a butterfly. You get to stare and reflect on its beauty. I become inspired by its grace, and start to smile at the rareness I’m looking at. 
Photos have transformed our society into an everyday event, but still find them so special. I see the softness to the baby’s face and the shine of the cheesy sunset pictures. I love living in that moment. That moment when you believed you were happy and escaping to that. So often photography is manipulated into what the photographer wants us to see to give us a message. Isn’t that the point? The photograph was chosen for a reason; to send a message. It’s an artist look. I could never see that as a negative. (I think its funny that old cameras make negatives that turn into pictures.) 
The only negative in photography is that it has the potential to lie and be over dramatic, but don’t a million other things have the same potential? Yes. I think by insulting photography in any other way is unjust. People that take pictures are expressing themselves and showing their skill set to see things that no one else can. Reflecting on an image is one of the most powerful things you can do. Brings back you past to your present to somehow control your future.

pick a lifestyle

Benjamin Franklin and Henry David Thoreau were both intelligent men with a purpose. I respect both their ideas and to uniqueness to each life style. I wish I could live in the infamous way Thoreau did. He said he was happy living off the land and in complete silence with only his thoughts to interact with. I know I would eventually go absolutely insane if I ever considered living in this lifestyle. I'm more of a productive person. I like staying busy with activities others provide for me. I enjoy working hard through a community and reeling all the benefits. I love team work and that we are all little pieces to a puzzle. I have never took an interest in "playing the game" of society, yet sometimes I caught between a rock and a hard place. That feeling of unity is just a rewarding as your hard earned money. I crave that feeling to be a productive and hard working member of society; to help. Franklin invented tools that are still vitally important in modern society. He aided our founding fathers establish America. If that isn't success then I don't know what is. I want to inspire and create light to the people living in these dark times of the recession. I don't know how but I will try. Thoreau didn't harm the world but he also didn't do anything to contribute to it. I want to assist my fellow people and have that feeling that I'm supporting; that I am giving. Then in return I obviously get paid to buy the things that I desire. I believe that I can still be spiritual in this materialistic society. I just have to work a little harder to focus on what my values or beliefs are. In many ways I think Thoreau is asking to much of us. I could never give up my relationship to go live in the wild all by myself. I would never be able to teach myself how to build a house and hunt for food. It would be impossible for me to deny the world of my aid. Its simple. We must all do our part and just become a little less full of ourselves and more productive in taking care of each other. No more complaining about how we don't have enough followers on Instagram and who Kim Kardashian is going to marry next. No more wasting this very precious life on stupid objects. Rather find the people that make you happy and enamored you until you can't help but to be happy with your life.

Money does not eqaul happiness

In my childhood days when I would become greedy with my toys, my mom would ask me, "Would you rather be all alone with a lot of toys, or have someone to play with just fewer toys?" Being an only child at the time, I would usually answer with I wanted someone to play with even if that meant letting others play with my toys. With that said, I still want to interact with others even if that means I give up money in the process. Today for example my mom told me to go grocery shopping for the sleepover I'm going to host, but she gave me a budget, and I would feel guilty going over that budget. Most of my friends are coming back from playing a basketball game so I know they are going to be hungry but I didn't bother to get them a lot of food. I was almost angry when my friend told me she wanted lot of food because I didn't get that much. Now I have to decide weather or not I want the money or the friends; hands down I want my friends. But spending money for them is hard, but I still chose them. 
Nationally no one is happier than they were 50 years ago, yet we have so many more things than they ever did. I think once someones basic needs are met, money doesn't make anyone that much more happy. If someone makes 5,000 dollars to 50,000 dollars their happiness will sky rocket. But if another person goes from making 50,000 dollars to 500,000 dollars they will still be more happy than they used to be, just not by a substantial amount. Also I think people adapt to the level of what they have then always want more. Its just human nature for people to want more if their not happy with what they already have. Instead of thinking about what we don't have, I challenge America to think about what we do have.
Its has been proven if an individual has supportive/close family and friends they will be much more happy, so basically love. Currently we focus all our energy on money, image, and status. Even if some say they don't, its inevitable in our society not to think about it just a little. The three things we do need to be happy and fulfill ourselves is personal growth, relationships, and a community feeling. Does any of this have to do with money? No.

Are we missing opportunities while we are glued to our phones, computers, and television? What happened to having a conversion in person? Are people so indirect now that we have to create an Facebook just to know who that Mr. or Mrs. Fabulous is? Does our constant want for things to be fast dictate how well it comes out? Must we always be entertained or enslaved by our shiny boxes or controlled by our sex drive? The thing America loves most is anything entertaining. Whats the entertaining thing? Sex. I know thats a lithe forward but, its true. The movies No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits were made 6 months apart. Why? Well, because modern America loves to see screwed up people fall in love and find "happiness" myself included. (I quote both those movies all the time.) But how much money would that movie have made 170 years ago? I don't think the Evangelicals would have appreciated our humor. Friends with Benefits alone made 149,542, 245 dollars just in the box office. We have grown into an open and silly country that loves a good laugh. Society has shaped us to be the same way. For the first 5 months Fifty Shades of Grey author, E.L James was making one million dollars a week; and she only gets about 30% of the cut. So what does this say about America. I feel like it says we buy sex that will entertain the pants off of some. Literally. In the past most Americans had love, hope, and nature to keep them busy. Which probably meant they were bored a lot of the time, unless you drank until your heart was content and had a great deal of sex. I think that would get boring after a while and miss my country side and stare at the farms and cow poop that I hear so much about. 
Are you a reformer? Do you follow the crowd or make your own path? I hope one day I can have the courage to make my own way for my personal beliefs. Sometimes I make the excuse that world isn't ready for my crazy outbursts and protests, but I know thats just my fear of being judged and in result no one loving me anymore. Do I stand up for what I believe in? Mr. Geib everything that I used to believe was proven wrong. So now I don't know what to stand up for and I think thats how a lot of us feel. Emersons' poem says that we all have the same problems, and that we are all one. I wish this was the way it was. But all I see is the system. The system the works and beats down the kids until they are scared to do any worse than a 4.0, or their future holds a lifetime of begging. The system that makes you feel like trying to change the routine is wrong. The system that makes you feel unsafe. The system that makes you love thing and use people rather love people and use things. I think to myself, if I go against the system What will I have? I like my car, house, and clothes. I want those things in my life for as long as I live. The Early Americans would have gladly walked, found pleasure in making their own home and clothes, would read instead of television, talk in person, cooked every meal, and meaningful conversations. The reformers didn't think twice to protest what they thought was right; doing the right thing now is terrifying. They were more sufficient in that aspect than we are. If I were to ever have a conversation with any prehistoric figure I know that we would think, act, and talk differently; I would never know which way was better, each era is best and worst in their special areas. I prefer their direction and would love to hear the opinions they have of us.

Free will is something God gave His creation from the first day of existence. He has never denied that we make our own destiny. Predestination is based from some's perspective of the Bible. That God may have put things together for a reason to better us in the long run. So humans can grow and learn from the events he puts in our lives. Jawaharla Nehru speaks an intelligent metaphor, "Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt to you represents determinism, the way you play it is free will." I completely agree with all my comments above; although many would say my arguments contradict one another, I find truth behind both concepts. That is the balance that fits my liking: we are destined to have free will.
The Separatist colonies at Plymouth establish a religious society, nicknamed themselves the "visible saints." A elect group that credited themselves of being so holy that they were predestined to do to heaven and spend eternity with Christ himself. Instead of using their energy for a more productive occupation, most visible saints would spend multiple hours in a day praying in churches. Until one women, Anne Hutchison questioned against the theory of the Separatists. Pointing out their flawed ideals that if you were predestined to go to heaven why should it matter what you do in this life? The philosophy was much too bold for any of the colonists to take seriously but still fearful of what other might do. Anne Hutchison was banished from her home town. I think we let the fear of doubt blind our capabilities to see that we are not in control of life, but we do take charge of our own lives, with no authority except our own. Life will do whatever it pleases but it is up to us on how we execute our happiness, our free will, and see the great wonders of the world even in the worst of times.
God doesn't need or want robots. We are supposed to be the image go Him because he had so much love of Himself to bestow upon us. His love and care alone is too much for us to keep in. He entrusted us with free will to love Him back. Though the bible is constantly reminding and repeating the encouraging words to choose good over evil; God over all else. In the novel Life of Pi Patel writes, "The path of liberations are numerous but the bank is always the same, the Bank of Karma, where the liberation account of each of us is created or dented depending on our actions." I think Ben Franklin would be of the same mind as Pi because he swore by the key to a prosperous life is through good deeds that benefit the public. God puts his followers and opposition together throughout the course of history, but I do not think He obsesses over the micro details; he helps carry the weight and provides free will and to give ourselves guidance; to learn from our mistakes and faults, without destiny intervening.
Our jobs in this world is to bring peace, light, and goodness to the dark craters hearts with each new generation. C.S Lewis projects the idea, "Free will, though it is what makes evil possible, it is also the only thing that makes possible amy love or joy worth having. Lewis planted a seed in my head that destiny puts evil in our lives so that we may not to take for granted true love and joy. This pushes me to believe that maybe God did predestine with a purpose. He align the stars that makes each and every one of us special. With unique hardships to overcome and being grateful for when life is just "okay."
Free will is what I support but I can't help fight the feeling that there are just somethings in life that are beyond my power. Each day day is a new lesson and whether or not I chose to see it or accept it is purely up to me. My choices shape who I am, but destiny knows what curve balls to throw at me; but I will not limit myself to fates desires, I will try with all my might to make my own path.

Certainty vs Doubt

Kylie Valencia | September 22, 2012 11:44 AM

Certainty Vs. Doubt
When someone dwells on the ideals of relationship between certainty and doubt, they are commonly taken aback by such a harsh concept. Some would feel almost insulted that another would even dare to question their beliefs. After hours, maybe days of the idea settling in their mind they really do not have one answer, rather than a thousand questions. Some might say, “Why am I not completely convinced of my own thoughts?” For example Thomas Edison, the man who invented the light bulb and electricity had only been in 3 months of official schooling as a child, but his mother Nancy was certain and confident that her son was a pure genius, and she was absolutely correct. To say you doubt something is admitting you do not know it all; If I feel I know something well, can I also say I might be wrong? Yes. Questioning myself is the strongest form of certainty because it means taking a chance on my spirit, body, and mind that what I believe is true; while having a reflection that if I were truly confident I wouldn’t have to justify myself to anyone. It would just be -and be perfectly.
Are we afraid of what the truth might hold? Or what it could have to offer? Is the absolute truth too much to take in? Has life proven to us that we should always doubt before we believe? Unfortunately no one has ever discovered the real explanation for any of these questions. So, go back to the days in the 16th century when the British parliament courts would say, “You are guilty until proven innocent” or is the American way better “You are innocent until proven guilty?” It truly is all in someone’s belief. The beauty of this world is that not everyone has to be convinced of the same thing. Different morals, thoughts, actions are all going to differ based on what life has shown them. Life has given people a fear of being wrong; to be right they must doubt. Its understandable, no one enjoys being wrong. But people do not see that every wrong move is a try, a try that is going to get them that much closer to the truth. Do not have fear of being let down. Certainty in one concept and then doubting the same concept the next day is when great philosophies are born.
On April 20th of 2012 my parents told me they were getting separated and my mom was moving out immediately. I thought it was just a rough patch. I was so hurt and ominous towards life, but then I tricked myself into believing “No! They love each other, they wont go through with a divorce.” I was certain it wouldn’t happen. Now I have my doubts. In some poignant cases love, faith, and hope just isn’t enough.
William Lyon writes, “You can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” Certainty and doubt are like yin and yang. They will always go together in perfect harmony yet totally contradicting one another. The push and pull of each other is what makes our minds pump with brilliance. Like the cool ocean waves, gravity setting itself one way then redirecting itself to the opposite. You cannot have one without the other. Do not trick others into believing otherwise. The only emotion stronger than fear is: hope. Doubt and confusion is a natural instinct of man. Doubt is constantly running through our heads, but it is hope, faith, and certainty keeps everyone at a balance.
The intangible truth is somewhere waiting to be found and when it is, it will be greater, more infinite and unimaginable than man could ever be capable to wrap their heads around. Many great philosophers disagree with certainty over doubt such as Voltaire he stated boldly, “Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is an absurd one.” Voltaire thinks people are too ignorant for their own good. Doubt is an open door in someone’s mind that virtually anyone can run into and change an opinion. It is not a pleasant place to be so maybe that’s why so many people believe. That could be the easy way out for them. But is it harder to reject or trust? It’s harder to trust, so when masses of people all believe in the One, who is anyone to bring them down off that happy high? No one has that right. Do not be the depressing pessimistic to the world that still considers the good in everything. Let them live in their certainty.
An anonymous person once shared that, “You should set out to be, without doubt, undoubtedly.” Bottom line is no one is going to have complete certainty or doubt in their minds because it is only human nature to question and have an inquiry mindset to all matters of our world. We all belong together in this place, and doubt, reason, faith, certainties are all subjects that we will have different views on and feel as if we are standing lonesome with them. But we are not. We stand together perfectly imperfect with our heads held high in unity and prosperity to one day find out who was right.

QUESTION ALL MATTERS OF THE WORLD

QUESTION all matters of the world
My brother: Who is that?

Me: The main character

My brother: What is she doing?

Me: She’s setting a trap

My brother: Where is she?

Me: Someone’s house

My brother: Why?

Me: To catch the bad guy, just watch the movie! Stop asking so many questions.

My brother: Well Kylie, if I never ask then I’ll never know.

Me: (silent)

Over the course of my junior year I have began to question everything I used to believe whole-heartedly in. My God, my parents, my sport, my family, my friends and even myself, it seems like everyday I’m asking “why?” The list goes on and it all makes me feel uncertain. To describe the uneasiness I get from the feeling; its like my questions are a never-ending river. It is frightening because my flow increases each day. This whole idea of questioning is upsetting to me because I like the feeling of knowledge. Doubt just makes me feel queasy and unsteady. The fear that comes with this doubt is how I know I’m doing at least one thing right. I don’t just follow the easiest course or the prettiest route. I believe in questioning morals, values, emotions, priorities, logic, love, everything! Have you ever heard it’s more about the journey and not the destination? Well the questions I ask myself are my journey. My journey will not always lead me to where I think I want to go, but the places I need to go. If Thomas Edison never had a curious bone in his body, would we have light bulbs? If Albert Einstein never questioned his work, would he have changed the world of physics? All these brilliant people, kept asking, trying, experimenting then repeating. They are my aspiration. I wish to keep doubting, what I believe because if I doubt and I am proven correct, I’ll know with out a doubt that it’s real. I’ll know the truth. Though 99% of the time I hate not knowing and I feel lost or confused, it’s the uncertainty of all things that make this life so special for me. The inconsistency that makes life such a challenge that I welcome. Life will always remain the same if we don’t challenge it. I take no pleasure in being proven wrong, but at least I know that my question was worthy of attention, and I know the reality of my question. In the future I wish to see people questioning the limits of which they are willing to go. In the future I want to see people having an open mind and consider that what they believe might be wrong. I want to see people questioning our mainstream society and able to speak with courage on the matter that is their truth. I want to see young adults make their own path, rather than follow in the line that they think they are expected to. Why not ask the how, when, why, what, where, and who? If people never ask the questions, they will never find the answer that lies inside them. Take the opportunity to question. People have every right to question life. Though I fear its not that they don’t want the answer, but that they are afraid of it. I will admit I am scared of the answers. I am worrying about my future. I am unable to always ask the most meaningful question because I don’t think anything with substance will come out. I am afraid that I have no depth to make so I force myself not to ask the life changing questions. Mr. Geib once brought up that children who come from divorced families tend to get divorced themselves. That topic really hit a soft spot for me. In light of the recent events I have asked myself “If I try hard enough and pick the perfect person, will I end up like my parents?” I pray that the answer is no. I love them so much; they are a real blessing to me. I just couldn’t live with some of their actions. I struggle with never asking the right questions at the right time. I learn an infinite amount of lessons from the questions I ask myself, yet I fear I am still missing the soul purpose of what this life holds. I am scared to look stupid or naïve in front of my peers. I feel dumb when I ask a question that already has an answer. But does it really have a written in stone answer? Or are they constantly changing and evolving? Does life have any true purpose? Am I good enough daughter or sister? What’s the point in doing well in school? What monster would kill 20 preschoolers in cold blood? Who could rape that innocent girl? What’s is my self-worth?  Why are people so rude and mean to each other? Am I meant do something great? What do I desire? What makes me itch? What if money had no worth? What would I choose to be if money were no object? Will I be doing things I don’t like doing if I’m just after the money? Am I going to end up as a waitress for the rest of my life? When I picture happiness, what do I see?  Will I always live in fear of becoming like my parents? Will I want kids? How much time until I find out what I want to do as a career? Do I watch too much TV? Is Mr. Geib looking at me for the answer? Did he just throw a rubber chicken at my head? Some of these questions have answers; but as I continue to think most of them do not, at least for now. Questioning the world and the people in it is healthy for me because it always keeps me on my toes. Focused and alert is the way I want to be. In the future I hope people question their lives. Question the government, love, loss, pain, anger, depression, murder, suicide, rape, and most of all what really makes them happy. Question it all, because it’s all there waiting for your attention. Waiting to see what everyone’s different answers are.  That is the only way to a happy, healthy and fulfilled life. The beautiful thing about always asking questions is you come up with all different kinds of meaningful answers, they may not be related but they still matter. So my question for you is, what’s the next thing you will question?

The well known Shakesphere gives his audience a different perspective to what society really is centered around. From the very first days of life people have always been greedy and self-serving, and constantly wanting more so they could please the ache in their nonexistent hearts. The wealthy know better than anyone how much good money would do you, but the poor are the ones to suffer throughout and watch as an unforgivable act is commit with no punishment. Wealth and justice often argue over the fact that they cannot make everyone happy. Wealth usually has a superficial but very popular point and it triumphs over justice. Equal justice for all has been the goal or the hope but at the end of the day the rich are greedy, manipulative, and selfish for what they don't posses already. In their mind its not if you do the crime pay the time; its do the crime and pay the expensive lawyer.
In the modern day I see a pattern of the poor being jealous of the rich. They can hide behind their nice clothes, stacks of money and plastic faces. This makes them feel more superior to the rest of the world and mess' with their head. I see that people with money are more concerned with substances that are resourceful and tangible to them rather than feelings emotions and thought. Even though the rich already have more than they need. Success, power, wealth, and access to years of knowledge is a great privilege to acquire. Comfortable people get to have these special privileges that most people do not, and as we escalade to the sharp point of rich versus poor I come to a realization of: Are we losing our middle class stability? Have we not learned from our ancestors that an unbalanced well-fixed society is the clear path to destruction? I suppose not or I think people would be a lot more giving and sacrifice their new state of the art mosaic or flat screen television. According to Aristotle, "It is clear then both the best partnership in a state is the one which operates through the middle people, and also that those states in which the middle class is large, and stronger if possible than the other two together, or at any rate stronger than either of them alone, have every chance of having a well run constitution." Bam! Right there is one of the smartest men alive saying that we should not be operating though rich versus poor because the best form is middle. No special privileges, nor bragging rights! Equality for religion, money, freedom, and knowledge is key said from our founding fathers themselves.
Now a days we think in the terms of if you have money then you must be successful. In many cases that can true, but in more than a few this is false statement. Riches and fame can shield from the unlawful actions you have committed, and save you from a prison of your own personal hell. or just prison. If its you who is sitting in the pile of riches then you indeed have the upper hand to the "plate sin with gold" because you have the ability to rescue yourself from punishment; in my world sins cannot be masked by money. I see through the people with sitting on the thrones of gold and witness untrustworthiness especially if they use their money for the worse of mankind. I of course will give you the chance to prove to me otherwise that you are not a greedy selfish heart who can't stand to take responsibility for you actions. But for reason unknown reason if your poor not only do you receive punishment; you get it harder than anyone else too.
Money speaks to all. We all want. If you don't then you are considered stupid. Almost no one would say no to a million dollars. Instead they would be rejoicing with the knowledge of getting to do whatever they want. Most the time it feels like we will be in a never ending war of the fight for money. If we do view it from the factual perspective; people with money can do whatever they want. From the eyes of the poor that seems awfully unfair and injust since they are equal to them. But money is like a pass into the gates of heaven. Even back in the day they would ask you to pay the church to repent all your sins away and the people with no money were left "unforgiven." How can that be right? Oh yes, because they churches were greedy and wanted to use the money to their own benefit to get themselves out of any trouble they could be in.
In conclusion to this very expressive piece about the rich versus the poor. I would like to remind you that everyone has had a right to a "fair" trail for sometime now and the victims of the opposing side are often with the less expensive lawyer or a surrogate; charged guilty for not having enough money rather than the actual crime committed. Wealth versus justice is complex subject that should not be taken lightly because people pay for it.. literally.

As our country comes closer to the presidential election and the future of America, I ponder the what will happen if we let social justice and economic dynamism get too unbalanced. An extremist might say that we are leading ourselves right into another repeat of the French Revolution. And they could be right be we don't know anything for sure, so Im trying to use my knowledge of what has happened in the previous times where the economy has not been stable. All I can think of is suffering a slow death. If you don't have money your screwed. Nothing is free anymore, and the greed of everyone fearing losing their house doesn't help. It seems like the whole country is full of fear right now and they should be. Because our greater American dream is spiraling in a downward motion as we speak. Balance between economy and social justice is not something I know how to get, but maybe we just need to fail a few times before we figure it out, and something brilliant will come along. In the mean time everything will get worse and rougher. 
Why must we always have such drama queens as future presidents? It seems they are so opinionated about all topics and always act in a defensive mannerism because they seem afraid to be wrong in front of the world, that they forget to look at both sides. So that's what I am going to try and accomplish. The system does not purposefully try to keep the poor poor and the rich rich, but thats exactly what occurs. We need a middle class! A division of money to start out fresh! Yes i know you don't think that would work because you wouldn't get you weekly magazine of People or Victoria Secret. But these little sacrifices that we can make for our country seem very worth it. Inequality of economy should be something we fight against. "Americans have always professed support for a "just" social order and the opportunity for all to have a chance at success."
Wow this is a really hard topic to write on because I'm trying not to insult anyone, while having a valid argument. This a very personal and emotional for America. Maybe now know why they call her a girl because she is totally in PMS right now. We have to be sensitive with her feelings. Which makes things even more complicated because now, more than ever we need brutal honesty to find the solution of balance 

Failure invites success. When something great is achieved, it probably failed a hundred times first. No one thinks about this when it is accomplished because his or her main focus rests on the success that was just introduced. The victory and honor of creating such an unreal idea and making it true triumphs the embarrassment of failure. So why are we so afraid to fail? We are witnesses to failure everyday. People have to live with their lives so dramatically breaking down before them. Every second multiple people are failing at something. Maybe it’s at love, loss, envy, or even your education, no matter how hard you try. The “collapse” of your life is shaping you, molding you into changed person. How you overcome the failure is what’s truly crucial. Find the essence of what made you feel embarrassed, or rejected and then don’t take it so personal and keep moving. Failure is the best thing that can happen to some people. It saves them, and slowly guides them towards a fresh goal with even more to look forward too. Be good at failing with grace.
So why are we so afraid to fail? I think that’s the real question. What about it makes feel like our world is over or that our hearts have just been ripped out? Does this feeling motivate us or discourage us? I think as much as we all don’t want to admit it; failure makes us fight, and fight hard for the things we truly desire. Look at George Washington; some say he never actually won a battle. But in his case it’s not the battles that made him a winner, it his undying commitment to his country. He failed in every way a commander could fail out in the field, but his quest for the long term victory was more than success: he defeated and conquered. Washington gained so much from his failures that I genuinely think he was okay with it in the end. I’m sure he was more embarrassed than anyone. Not the I-just-failed-an-AP-test kind of way. Like men-just-died-because-of-me kind of way. He competed and many believe that he won more than was thought possible.
Often we think of failure as the worst we have done or will do. Is the worst we can do, someone else’s best? We learn and educate ourselves to the max when we fail at something. To be honest if you succeed at something for the first time it probably just luck or chance. It’s commonly known to not be good at something right off the bat. Isn’t that why we go to history class? So we can study other people’s mistakes and flaws so we can understand and interpret when it happens to us. History repeats itself, and when it does we will be ready. We don’t want to relapse into the same failures someone else made if we can prevent it. What if your oversight taught someone else? Also failure makes you so grateful for success! It makes feel that much better too. So don’t dwell on your flaws or mishaps, draw your attention to the future fortunes you will have.
Is your failure that bad? Or are you just mortified of what people might think? Falling short of an expectation is disappointing. But if you did everything possible to succeed, to me you are success. Don’t judge yourself or others. Love what you took a stand on and don’t back down from it. Try and fail; but to never try is a lifetime of what ifs. Failures can be so guiding and fortunate and you just don’t know it yet. Learn form your failures and be confident.

life.

Life has been and will always be full of horrible people, places, actions, thoughts, and things. How you respond to the good, the bad, and the ugly is how you know what type of person you are.