QUESTION ALL MATTERS OF THE WORLD

QUESTION all matters of the world
My brother: Who is that?

Me: The main character

My brother: What is she doing?

Me: She’s setting a trap

My brother: Where is she?

Me: Someone’s house

My brother: Why?

Me: To catch the bad guy, just watch the movie! Stop asking so many questions.

My brother: Well Kylie, if I never ask then I’ll never know.

Me: (silent)

Over the course of my junior year I have began to question everything I used to believe whole-heartedly in. My God, my parents, my sport, my family, my friends and even myself, it seems like everyday I’m asking “why?” The list goes on and it all makes me feel uncertain. To describe the uneasiness I get from the feeling; its like my questions are a never-ending river. It is frightening because my flow increases each day. This whole idea of questioning is upsetting to me because I like the feeling of knowledge. Doubt just makes me feel queasy and unsteady. The fear that comes with this doubt is how I know I’m doing at least one thing right. I don’t just follow the easiest course or the prettiest route. I believe in questioning morals, values, emotions, priorities, logic, love, everything! Have you ever heard it’s more about the journey and not the destination? Well the questions I ask myself are my journey. My journey will not always lead me to where I think I want to go, but the places I need to go. If Thomas Edison never had a curious bone in his body, would we have light bulbs? If Albert Einstein never questioned his work, would he have changed the world of physics? All these brilliant people, kept asking, trying, experimenting then repeating. They are my aspiration. I wish to keep doubting, what I believe because if I doubt and I am proven correct, I’ll know with out a doubt that it’s real. I’ll know the truth. Though 99% of the time I hate not knowing and I feel lost or confused, it’s the uncertainty of all things that make this life so special for me. The inconsistency that makes life such a challenge that I welcome. Life will always remain the same if we don’t challenge it. I take no pleasure in being proven wrong, but at least I know that my question was worthy of attention, and I know the reality of my question. In the future I wish to see people questioning the limits of which they are willing to go. In the future I want to see people having an open mind and consider that what they believe might be wrong. I want to see people questioning our mainstream society and able to speak with courage on the matter that is their truth. I want to see young adults make their own path, rather than follow in the line that they think they are expected to. Why not ask the how, when, why, what, where, and who? If people never ask the questions, they will never find the answer that lies inside them. Take the opportunity to question. People have every right to question life. Though I fear its not that they don’t want the answer, but that they are afraid of it. I will admit I am scared of the answers. I am worrying about my future. I am unable to always ask the most meaningful question because I don’t think anything with substance will come out. I am afraid that I have no depth to make so I force myself not to ask the life changing questions. Mr. Geib once brought up that children who come from divorced families tend to get divorced themselves. That topic really hit a soft spot for me. In light of the recent events I have asked myself “If I try hard enough and pick the perfect person, will I end up like my parents?” I pray that the answer is no. I love them so much; they are a real blessing to me. I just couldn’t live with some of their actions. I struggle with never asking the right questions at the right time. I learn an infinite amount of lessons from the questions I ask myself, yet I fear I am still missing the soul purpose of what this life holds. I am scared to look stupid or naïve in front of my peers. I feel dumb when I ask a question that already has an answer. But does it really have a written in stone answer? Or are they constantly changing and evolving? Does life have any true purpose? Am I good enough daughter or sister? What’s the point in doing well in school? What monster would kill 20 preschoolers in cold blood? Who could rape that innocent girl? What’s is my self-worth?  Why are people so rude and mean to each other? Am I meant do something great? What do I desire? What makes me itch? What if money had no worth? What would I choose to be if money were no object? Will I be doing things I don’t like doing if I’m just after the money? Am I going to end up as a waitress for the rest of my life? When I picture happiness, what do I see?  Will I always live in fear of becoming like my parents? Will I want kids? How much time until I find out what I want to do as a career? Do I watch too much TV? Is Mr. Geib looking at me for the answer? Did he just throw a rubber chicken at my head? Some of these questions have answers; but as I continue to think most of them do not, at least for now. Questioning the world and the people in it is healthy for me because it always keeps me on my toes. Focused and alert is the way I want to be. In the future I hope people question their lives. Question the government, love, loss, pain, anger, depression, murder, suicide, rape, and most of all what really makes them happy. Question it all, because it’s all there waiting for your attention. Waiting to see what everyone’s different answers are.  That is the only way to a happy, healthy and fulfilled life. The beautiful thing about always asking questions is you come up with all different kinds of meaningful answers, they may not be related but they still matter. So my question for you is, what’s the next thing you will question?